2nd Time Around

[MrP]

Starting to get over this flu/bronchial whatever is going around and am back online a bit more.
Yesterday, W was talking with D13s therapist about an issue D13 raised with me: D13 perceives W doesn't sufficiently trust her. I somewhat agree but am trying to mediate between the two most of the time to find solutions that work for both of them. The therapist tells W that D13 feels we are in "limbo". W gets unhappy about that and wants to talk about D again.

I said "Sure. My atty is familiar with your atty. We don't understand why you've not just shipped over some kind of settlement proposal yet?" W replied, "Well, probably because I told my attorney I've never understood what all we have". "I've got texts and emails from over the years where I've asked and darn near begged for you to sit with me to understand our overall net worth in case I got hit by a bus" and "What do you need?"

W goes on to express her concern with being able to buy a small home on her own. Against my better judgment, we got a dog during the pandemic. I cautioned that we'd done a good job reconciling by that point and that, given how much work a puppy will be, it could exacerbate W's anxiety and perfectionism issues (dogs aren't always obedient, make messes, and even "quiet" breeds" can be barkers). I love dogs. Had six growing up. Understanding wanting one but better understand how much work they care, including planning for vacations, random destruction, etc.) Didn't matter - W wanted a dog and if we didn't get one then I was being pre-1st DB me so, voila, we got the dog. Now, she's worried about managing the stress of the dog and having to re-home her. W previously admitted getting the dog was a mistake. So, now I'm frustrated that this darn (loveable) animal is part of this DB go-round too. I say "We took responsibility for that dog and aren't rehoming her." W then says something about my just being able "to walk away with all your money".

My initial response is to clarify that I'm not walking away. I added that I remain sad W sees D as the best option and intend to cooperate as needed. I said, "Of course, I prefer to hang on to the money I earned that we've kept separate from our shared funds but our state doesn't necessarily agree with me." So, we kick around some numbers, get a bit emotional, and decide to knock it off until Saturday. Phew. Wasn't expecting that but, we are where we are.