So it sounds like to me that you are trying to control her. You keep talking about behavior that she does that is unacceptable to you ie. sleeping with other men, drinking, staying out late etc. She keeps doing these and nothing changes. What is her motive to stop doing these behaviors?
This is the main reason I am here. Over the last few years my wife has essentially called my bluff on these "boundaries" and whenever I told her I found the behavior was inappropriate, she doubled down and partied harder. As a result I withdrew, focused on GAL, and began to see objectively how unhealthy the MR had become. Once she finally came clean about the A it was clear to me things were broken and it seemed D was the only path out of this mess. I don't want D, but I've accepted that perhaps its the best option right now.
The only real difference is now that I've been exposed to DR and the info here on the forums, I feel more comfortable with the patience part of things: I am not in a rush to D, and am taking things one step at a time. Right now the focus is on detaching, and being the most optimistic/attractive I can be (for me, not for her or the MR).
