R2C is the absolute master at this stuff, and attraction - so heed his advice!
Rather than TALKING about what you’re going to do, go to a coffee shop and actually DO what he recommends. The answer is not going to jump out of words on a page.
You need to go and engage. Practice. Observe.
My only slight amendment (acknowledging R2C is much better at this than me) is to be wary of validating using “I” statements.
I’d change these:
Quote
2) I would have been angry. 3) I hate feeling like that.
To this:
2) You must have felt so angry. 3) You must hate feeling like that.
Not always - but sometimes - people looking for validation feel less heard if you acknowledge and feel them through associating it with how you’ve felt before. It can come off as “I know how you feel because that happened to me once and I felt…” which makes them feel like you’re making it about you and your feelings, not theirs.
“I know how you feel” or “I’ve felt like that before” is less effective than “that must have made you feel like” or “if I were in your shoes, that would have made me feel hurt and angry”.
