Hi Pattnee, sorry if I missed it, but is there a date for his departure? I thought at one point you'd mentioned November, but I'm guessing that date came and went, maybe as he was waiting on paperwork/visas.
You are doing well in a tough situation. It still seems hard to me that you are around him so much. Both of my WAW's gave me the "gift" of space. Still lots of pain but it does help detachment. If he really does head to New Orleans, you'll really experience what that's like. It sounds like you're mostly on your way there, anyway..
Hi Card, yes apparently the visa has been a big process. He will have it in the next few weeks and then fly out at the start of the year ( or just after Christmas). It’s funny there has been a real internal shift within myself the last month. There’s no pain being around him. I still love him so much and still pray we can get through the other side and save our marriage, but in order to do that I realised this is our best shot. I can’t stand his way. This is our only shot of any rebuilding is letting him go completely to do what he’s set his mind to, and live his reality. All those little things that frustrated me, all the expectations I had from each interaction, all the second guessing it’s like it all just magically disappeared one day. Now I am not phased by it. If he’s in an angry mood I just keep busy, if there’s silence I don’t fill it and let him fill it. Anyway I know once he leaves it will be a tough day but I know I’ll be ok. I have EVERYTHING. My kids my home that security. All he will have is a suitcase of clothes in a foreign city. I’m just basically of the mindset of I’m going to have to shelve him. Pack him in a box put him on a shelf and almost like pretend he has died( as sad as that sounds) and just go on living. Hopefully it’s a huge wake up call for him living alone in a foreign city and not having that unconditional love and support he starts to do his self work. There seems to definitely be some childhood upbringing issues or at least massive expedition issues from his parents that he needs to sort out on his own.
So he’s def off to New Orleans. Of all the cities he could choose in the central time zone of America he chose New Orleans. The only good side is the music scene and he used to be right into music which he as lost over the last few years. Hopefully it fills his cup
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
