Welcome to a great place for support while you go through this most challenging phase of your life.
I skimmed your sitch.
Going through this process was the best worst thing that I have ever experienced. Looking back, I am glad I was "Forced" to go through it. I hope you will be able to go through the personal growth I have experienced.
"Benjamin Button: For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it."
Changing your behaviors is like peeling an onion. Many layers. One layer at a time.
Here is an opportunity to peel off a layer:
Originally Posted by broken89
...I am especially struggling because I am an introvert with no social circle around me. I do not socialize or make friends easily...
So I challenge you to learn new skills and be able to be an extrovert when needed. Find books (or videos on youtube) that will help in this. It is a learned skill. Might want to start out your quest here:
My first friend group after BD was made at starbucks. Went every day. One of the keys is to focus on the other persons story. Every person I interact with, I focus on remembering their name, and their story, what ever that may be. Most people love to talk, so all I have to do is focus on listening. The person in front of me, the person behind me, the person taking my order, the person handing my drink.
Example:
This morning, met a local "regular" at my coffee shop. Forgot his name, but he plays in a band. I am sure I will bump into him again. I will just ask his name, and try harder to remember it.
New DBer: Broken89-No kids-wife moved out-needs new attractive ways to interact with his wife.
Most of us arrive here with very similar beliefs,thought process and behaviors. Challenging those and making the 180's michelle speaks of is very important, especially early on.
Adding attractive male behaviors and stopping the unattractive is not natural. If feels wrong. Most of our behaviors are habit and subconscious.
Most of us think we should talk our way out of this. It is the opposite. STFU and listen. Be the first to leave. Always be on your purpose (your wife is a distraction). As a man, you lead. If she follows, then you are behaving the way that is attractive to her. If not, keep focusing on improving your attractive male behavior.
Fight every instinct you have to pursue her. Woman need a challenge. They want to tame the man. Most of us were way to easy to tame.
The less you interact with her right now, the more she will miss you. The less you say to her, the more she will wonder what you are thinking.
Wake up in the morning, clean yourself up, dress sharp, smell good, go out and enjoy every minute of your day. Do not think about the past or worry about the future. Be in the moment. Be on purpose.
Do not be boring.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
