My view of promoting divorce is such: Leave the heavy lifting to the spouse who is wanting out, or stepping out of the marriage/vows. Let them do the work. You don’t stand in their way, yet you don’t necessarily pave the path either.
No R-talks. No divorce talks, especially initiated by you. Let her have time to burn through some of her feelings to get to feel guilt, shame, regret, etc; feelings that are much more helpful to your cause.
Up until this point my approach has been "Infidelity is a boundary that I will not tolerate, and I don't want to be with someone who behaves as though they are single and does not want to be with me." I have removed my time and attention as a husband and am now focused on being great dad and a cordial husband. How do I best walk this tightrope? If these are my words but my actions are that I still live here and handle my share (and more) of the household duties and parenting, how do I give her the space to "burn through some of these feelings" as you say?
