Time and space. Give her plenty of each. Let her feel it.
I have been no contact with her for 5 days. By no contact, I mean I am no longer initiating any contact with her. She has contacted me a couple of times since, once to let me know she was sorry I was spending Thanksgiving alone, and the other time to ask if she could come over to pick up belongings. My responses have been polite but short.
I know I am still in the early phase, but I was not expecting her to bring up asset division so soon.
Originally Posted by DnJ
In time, hopefully, W will realize that “hey, b89 hasn’t been bothering me lately and I’m still unhappy.” Then, with some luck, she will consider/realize that you aren’t cause and she will look inward.
I hope so, but I feel like for the time being, she seems to have blinders on. Her behavior is simply unrecognizable to me, and I know she was having an EA before leaving.
I think she maybe having some sort of MLC. She turned 30, lost her job earlier this year and was stuck in a sort of depressed state where she wasn't sure what her (professional) future might look like. She seems to be looking for an escape and trying to find herself along the way.
My point is (at least on the outside), she seems to be perfectly happy with her decision. She has not been angry at me. She has been emotional a few times, saying she did not want to hurt me and she wished me nothing but the best. Initially, in the 2-4 days post BD, she said she had a lot of "emotions to sort through and it was really overwhelming".
My other fear is that she is currently staying with her mom, who had the exact same phase around the same age and divorced her dad to be wild and free and had a series of PA's. I am afraid that her mom is totally going along with what her daughter is going through and enabling her on that path while not truly helping her find real answers, which she will have to find for herself.
Having zero control over this is driving me nuts! I am just left here wondering what can possibly going on in her head, trying to make sense of it all and rationalize everything.
Thank you all for listening and sharing your wisdom to help me stay strong.
