Hi Kind
Thanks for checking in. I’ve been keeping super busy and tend to read sometimes but never had anything to post. Life got a bit busy too juggling a few things and kids being sick and having exams etc.
Not a huge amount to report just ticking along in this MLC journey. H finally told the kids about his job move, they didn’t really care too much and went back to doing what they were doing and H semi freaked out expecting this massive meltdown he didn’t get. Got all worried about the kids and missing them etc. I just made the comment of “ our life will go on here with or without you “ he keeps saying “ when you all come over to visit ..” I don’t really react too much or read too much into anything. His words and moods are very hot and cold.
The roller coaster goes up and down and we just never really know
I think I’ve detached alot more now without realising. I just leave him when he’s around and let him fill the silence and just listen if he’s talking and working alot harder on listening to him despite how boring his subject is ( usually always a work related rant) I don’t really say or do too much around him but he seems to want to be around us a lot more, dinner, helping around the house etc. he’s actually around all the time come to think of it. At nights joins us with games with the kids too. his drinking has decreased quite alot now to be mainly on the weekend and we even enjoyed a few wines together a week or so ago where he even started to open up a fraction and mentioned something about being the black sheep in his family and not living up to their expectations. His rage had subsided around me (or at least when he is in his angry work mood I now just do something else and leave him be and find a day later he is much better). Just really trying to do more of what works and less of what doesn’t. He’s leaving in 6 weeks or right around Christmas. That’s going to be tricky but I am of the mindset I need to box him up and shelve him now when he goes ( and maybe just pretend he died or something I don’t know).Regardless our life goes on here. H decided he didn’t want to sell the house and try and keep us in it etc and not disrupt too much. I’ve also stopped listening to everyone around me opinion and what they think I should do. I think that’s been my biggest shift and helped me detach better. I’m not his doormat but I do still have hope that he can work through his crisis alone. I’m not looking forward to that day he leaves though. I know the moment he packs up all his stuff and gets on that plane will be so incredibly hard for me.
As for me life is generally okay. I’m Always trying to look good smell good feel good. Still running some lunchtimes, we put up the Christmas tree early( H even helped and has never put or helped in the past with that) and I find I’m thinking less about trying to explain and understand this whole craziness that H is in. It obviously is a crisis of some sort that runs deeper than me and has some underlying childhood stuff going on. I still have hope he will get through it but honestly who knows. All I know is he will be on the other side of the world soon and my family unit of me and the kids will keep moving along and keeping busy while he lives his mess alone.
I hope you are well doing well as we start to enter the silly season

M:41 H:48
T:20. M:16.5
BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023