She came over. I was distant and did not talk to her, until she asked if we could talk. She was already asking about next steps. The house, assets, etc... Her cold demeanor is what still shocks me the most. It's like we were never in love, never a couple, never shared anything.
I said, I was likely going to go away for the next month or so and that I needed to take some time away to reflect on everything. She was OK with it and said she wasn't trying to rush anything.
When I said I probably won't see you again before I leave she started crying and asked if we could hug. I politely declined and said I hope she finds what she's looking for.
Wow. Just wow!
You played that like an absolute boss. Text book DBing.
The key to your success is making decisions with your brain and not your emotions. Some people can do that better than others. As a beaten down, emotional man - you’re used to making decisions to try and keep her happy.
You need to ignore those instincts. Generally, the angrier she is the better you are DBing.
You will have slip ups, where you’ll get teary or say something about still loving her. That’s completely normal. Inevitably, you will feel rubbish and regretful afterwards.
Therapy can help you with making decisions with the reasoning part of your brain, and not with the fight/flight reflex or emotional part of your brain.
Stay strong. It’s most definitely the best way forward.
