Your input is really appreciated. Don’t soften the blows.
Yes i have been guilty of complicating things. I have been learning and listening and adjusting and trying different ways though. Im certainly not trying to scam anyone here or anyone else but mostly i need to be honest with myself. If I mislead myself (i guess that’s denial), I lose.
Those blasted interactions/communications. I don't believe any of it is working towards reconciliation. And yes that M is over that we can all agree on. I am going for self respect and know I deserve better. I dont think this M is worth saving (this is not a M I want) and yet i want neither to drive divorce nor prolong disrespect and wasting these important months and years of my life. Im not ready to make final outcome decisions on this (eg divorce) in this state. I remain open to the idea of restoration annd real reconciliation with her and if im being honest that remains my hope but no longer is my present or future peace tied to that outcome.
I don’t want to be around her or speak or interact with her. But reality is that does happen. So i want to be responsible for how i show up at those times.
