One of the hardest things is to let go, let God have him to work on. A large majority of the people who come here are fixers. We want to fix things for them asap and that is not how this crisis works. The crisis individual is the only one that can fix himself/herself. Why? Because whatever happened to them long ago is what they need to go back to and better understand why things were the way they were and face those ugly truths and accept that they are not at fault for what transpired. We can be there to listen, i.e., as a friend. Only offer up advice if asked for it.
Yes, we want the crisis to be over yesterday, but it doesn't work that way. Each crisis is unique and it will take however long it takes for them to work through their painful emotional issues. While they are working on themselves...we should be doing the same. We should be making a list of the things that we have allowed to collect dust in our minds and pull them out and work on them. Ask yourself this...what type of things did you enjoy pre-marriage? What have you allowed to collect cobwebs over the years and put on the back burner? Now is the time to pull those items of interest out and do them. Now is the time to re-discover the person that you once were. Make changes if you need to...but remember...those changes must become permanent and not just to get your h to notice you.
I know you probably get tired of hearing this...but you must keep the focus on you. Live your life to the fullest and if he so happens to want to a part of your life, he will do so. You can invite him to join you for some activities, but for the most part, be mysterious and do some things on your own and you do not have to share everything w/him at this time. Let him think about you. He can't miss you if you are there all of the time. He needs to wonder what you are doing. Give him something to think about.
Keep the focus on you and please, please do something extra special for you today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
