Yes, I do think he is looking for it to be me that looses it and kicks him out again. little does he know I am not cut out for not having my kids with me full time so i can be stubborn and wait it out for that reason alone. i don't want to live like this but I can stay for the kids.
Thats what i was thinking about the depression and withdraw. Yes the sound of him being in acceptance sounds great but I don't see a lot of those signs there. I do hate when he is depressed though. it is probably harder on me than when he is angry.
He has made many comments about her being a distraction for him event back when they were in a full on relationship. He said "when I am with her we have fun so I don't hurt" and even things about material things. he has always been very into material things but he has said when he buys a new gun or makes a change at work "maybe this will make me happy" and of course it does for a few weeks and the it is back to his new normal.
i have noticed since he came back he sleeps a lot during the day. and will have the game on tv and watching youtube and playing a game all at the same time if he is not sleeping.
as for the good, this last week he has actually dressed like he used to. after he left he started not carrying about how he looked really bad. was always in NASTY old cut off jeans that were falling apart and t-shirts with holes in them. he was military and has always dressed nice and made sure he was clean and pressed. most of his family noticed this before i even did. but the grungy clothes were also the OW style. so he never had to try and impress her. not that i ever cared or would have judged him for dressing like that with me but he always made sure he was dressed nice so it was nice to see again.
thank you all for the help. i am just trying to stay sain in this twilight zone.
