Oh and a friend commented to me in a Zoom meeting about getting Thanksgiving dinner from a local restaurant. W chimed in sarcastically and under her breath "Maybe I'll have to order from there too". If you read further into my history, W has social anxiety issues and historically hasn't looked forward to doing anything with my side of the family (only hers). She explicitly said one of the reasons she was looking at D was because she "wasn't looking forward to anything" and specifically mentioned holidays, though it seemed more about x-mas Day with my mother was the focus given they've had the seemingly standard struggle Gottman talks about between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.
Can't tell if she is serious or lamenting the fact that I've not said "Come to my dad's again for Thanksgiving if you'd like". My dad's family (my parents are divorced) all like her, understand her social phobia and treat her well. Most importantly, it would make it less awkward for our daughter if W did come - otherwise, I'd not especially care since I've been fired from my H role. I'm a bit torn between "what's good for my daughter is good for me" and wanting to continue to detach from W by not having her come. What do you think, fellow DBers?
