Peace in the short-term would be to co-exist in a calm and friendly manner at home together for now, since our finances and living arrangements are tied together. I'm hoping that after my wife returns from her trip to visit her best girlfriend and starts seeing a reportedly-awesome therapist, she might be able to dial down her mental "demons" and stop trying to engage me in discussions that I don't want to engage in.
Until our daughter's visit recently, we were actually doing extremely well together as a separated but friendly and even loving couple on some levels. She even posted a picture in social media of us holding hands, to show we didn't have animosity toward each other.
The conflict between my wife, daughter, and myself was a huge catalyst in destroying whatever progress we've made. I'm not saying it was my daughter's fault at all; I think the problem is more about the "baggage" between my daughter and her mom that I became involved with.
My wife and I talked on the phone today as she's away, and it was actually pretty calm. She said "I love you" before she hung up. She certainly seems to have conflicting feelings toward me.
My eventual goal is to physically move somewhere else and fully live my own life independently, but as I mentioned that's financially difficult right now. We have a lease on our apartment for another 11 months. If I could afford it I'd move out right now. It would be helpful if she decides to be with her "boyfriend" and moves in with him, but I think she said he's married so that probably won't happen.
I'm working on an extra income stream to help me retire, but the past couple of months have been so distracting I haven't done much lately. Time to get back to it with a vengeance!
We're both in our early 60's so I wonder if she could start withdrawing Social Security herself even though I'm still working (and making too much) to possibly afford either one of us moving out. I will look into that.
