You have had quite the journey. Writing down your thoughts and the events that have transpired in your life may help open your eyes to the fact that, like many of us, we tended to turn a blind eye to many of our xs' faults.
He may never come to terms with his issues and live out his life as an "old" teenager looking for that illusive brass ring on the merry-go-round. The best thing you can do is leave him to his life and whatever mistakes he makes, he will need to own them and not blame you or the marriage for the consequences.
You have come a long way and I hope that you will continue to post and allow us to travel with you as you continue to grow. Always try to remember...it's not our responsibility to make others happy. Happiness comes from within. Our job is to continue to grow and be satisfied with the person we become as we travel the road called life.
Keep up the good work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
