Thanks P. I am actually doing ok, only one day of a terrible sleep so nothing like those early days since BD. I always wanted to believe the good in H when he would say there is nobody else. He is adamant it was an EA and even said that’s why he’s running away from everyone to sort himself out but honestly i am not really listening to those words right now. In the midst of a MLC I know to believe nothing he says. If he ever comes out of it and has some honest talks with me then just maybe then I will begin to take his word. It still hurts. I want to talk to my best friend (H was my best friend) and in such a crazy time I want to talk to him ( but it’s about him). So I can’t. And that [censored]. It’s hard opening up to other close family and friends about all of this, they just get so objective and angry etc and none believe anything about mlc that I tell them so all I hear is negative when all I really want is a safe space to vent with no objectives or expectations Anyway I am good. Running today, journaling, taking S12 trick or treating and the sun is out so it’s a nice day Happy Halloween
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
