I genuinely apologized to W for something I did this weekend while she has been away visiting D28 and GD. I was in the hospital emergency and so was D20. Both of us had cardiac symptoms. On Saturday morning, I had worrisome heart palpitations. I went into the emergency and got fully checked out: 12-lead ECG, bloodwork and heart ultrasound and everything checked out fine. ER doc sent me home eventually hours later, told me to follow up with my doctor and recommended a 24-48 hr holter monitor to get a fuller picture of my heart rhythm.
While I was in the ER that morning, D texted me to say her heart was racing and felt weird. Should she be concerned? I said yes call your aunt (my sister). My sister went and picked up D from home and brought her in to the emergency. D also got a full work up and was finally cleared in the evening. Doc said everything checked out fine and that he couldn’t find the cause and recommended the same follow up as I received. I didn’t tell W until last evening, 24 hrs after D had been in hospital. W was extremely upset, felt very hurt that I didn’t tell her right away about us being in hospital. She told me, “I’m her mom. You need to tell me right away if anything happens to any of our kids. If you had texted me to say she was going into hospital, I would have called right away.”
Thing is I didn’t want to tell W about me because I don’t trust her or feel that she cares about me. It’s my feelings of betrayal and abandonment that make me not trust her. I do not feel safe with her. This is a total change since BD. Before that I felt very safe with her. That’s one thing. But why didn’t I tell her about D right away. She is a loving and caring mom.
Both D and I were in stable condition the whole time. While we were together in the ER, I had asked D if she let her mom know. She said no and I left it. D let her bf know and he came into the hospital to be there with her.
After all was said and done, D and bf came over for dinner. Once I finally told W last evening, she was very hurt and I apologized for not letting her know right away. I should not have held that from her.
