Work

[DnJ]

Good Morning Rock

Made time to talk to W on the phone as she requested about her upcoming trip to visit D and GD.

I’d suggest have discussions only regarding bills and kids with W. And that’s kids’ welfare, not her (or your) relationship with them.

We discussed what I thought was the reason she called and then she started to talk about us needing to divide up the assets and she went into some details about how it’s not working.

It sounds like her underlying real reason was not about D or GD or the upcoming trip, rather to try to stir you up.

I also said, “ send me a list by email and I’ll look it over.” W didn’t like that and said we have to sit down and go over everything and decide who gets what.

I let her know I would think about it and that I was heading to meet someone. She hung up on me.

Well done Rock!

Now stick to your guns. Do not walk this back. No sit down meeting with just the two of you regarding splitting up of assets. W can email you whatever details she is considering. Let her (make her) do the heavy lifting. The weight of her decisions is starting to press, let her feel it.

Her hanging up is so juvenile. A typical response of a pre-planned call not going to the imagined script. Quite a reaction from her. Indicative of her feeling like she’s loosing control over you.

Keep to your path, and do not bring attention to the target she is try to place upon you. Ignore her bait. Focus on you, kids, work, and living. Let her be. Let her lay in the bed she’s made.

You’ve spoken to a lawyer. You know what’s what. If W does send something “official” speak with your L and then respond.

Time and space. She’s a grown woman, and is or should be capable of making plans for her own upcoming trip. Same goes for her relationship with kids and family and friends. Not you circus, not your monkeys.

In one breath she wants support, and the next she wants to discuss splitting up. Back way off and let her feel what she needs to feel. She’s trying to keep you front and center, and the more you are in her crosshairs, the less other helpful emotions she will experience. You cannot control her feelings and justifications, you just minimize your reinforcement of them.

It’s been a good week. Work. Getting things done. Healthy lifestyle. Early (reasonable) bedtime. Consistent rising time. Exercising, friends and family. Taking care of home.

Excellent! Keep it up.

I had an early winter storm here. Near a foot of snow fell in 24 hours. Cleared the deck three times! The entire things, all 2200 sqft. Given the moisture content, and how heavy a shovel full was, the snow was around the 20lb/cuft. That’s like 20 tons of snow. Explains why my arms and back are so sore today.

Take care,

D