Thanks Sun for your perspective. You hit the nail on the head that if they weren’t so messed up internally they wouldn’t be seeking the validation of others. I will keep remembering to be my own lighthouse. I don’t want to save him anymore. He’s someone else’s broken mess. I really did hold hope for him, belief that he had the internal strength to pull through whatever mess his head was in. He started to get teary the last few weeks, apologise, really show glimmers of that old H. I never got excited I never got my hopes up. I thought it was too good to be true. He didn’t even apologise when I busted his new revelation. The internal turmoil must be horrible The depression he must have must be horrible
I am spending alot of self care time right now. I feel bad I haven’t cried nor do I want to. I just don’t feel it other than the brief moment when he told me and S12 saw me with eyes full of tears. I am still so proud of how maturely and balanced I have handled everything
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
