Not Lost Anymore!Being the best version of ME!

[Sunflyer]

Does the is sound right?pull back even more. He’s chosen someone else so let him lose all aspects of me including my generosity my caring and kindness. I have been detached a lot the last few months but I think now I may need to just remove myself completely from him and the whole situation. He has chosen to invest his attention his desire his heart with someone else. So mine now needs to heal on its own away from him, removing myself from his equation he has created where he is fulfilling his emotional needs with OW and family needs with me. This may sound silly but I don’t even want to yell or scream at him
I still want to be the kind person I am. The kids see us amicable and friendly I don’t want to disrupt them but I no longer desire his company his presence or anything to o with his current behaviour. I no longer want to have him at family dinner or playing games.i think you’re right this has really been a big help in letting go more and more

Well, this has been my approach. I have as little to do with her as possible. Since deciding to leave the M, she has insisted that she has respect for me. These actions (plus others I've become aware of) speak very loudly that there is no respect, only animosity. And, despite much weight loss and cosmetic surgery, she continues to have a poor self-image. If she really felt that she was okay, she wouldn't need to jump to someone else before we're even separated. Validation from a man is like a drug for her, and she needs a fix. Otherwise, she would be fine with not having a man in her life right now. And your H would be fine without a woman, if he weren't so internally confused and lost.

Unlike you, family dinners, etc. pretty much ended at our house quite a long time ago, even before W initiated D. She had full work hours plus her side business to run, which meant dinners most nights were reheated or takeout. I was here, home from work at a decent hour, and for at least half the week it was me and S14 alone.

In fact, it's me and S14 alone right now, because she is undoubtedly out with him. She has been with him almost every day this week. Occasionally my son asks where she is. I tell him, "Who knows?" which is technically true. He has to sense something is wrong.

Absolutely continue to be a kind person, to those who deserve it. Personally, I think you don't owe him anything at this point. You are worth more. As DnJ says, be a lighthouse, not necessarily his lighthouse.