Give yourself a bit of time to regain your center and balance. (((Hug)))
Kindness doesn’t need to stop. You being kind and compassionate is who you are. You now just pull back on some things is all with regards to dealing with H.
Instead of trying to be his lighthouse, be the lighthouse. Just be. For you. Do or do not, there is no try.
You shine your light and love because of who you are, not because of who H is/was. And you didn’t/don’t shine just to try to woo him back. A lighthouse doesn’t runabout looking for ships to save. You live and shine on. (By the way, you’ll likely shine even brighter now.) D
Thanks Sun and DnJ. I am actually ok but yes I know I may need to re balance. Just reframe myself again. I know it changes nothing and was always a possibility but now just confirmed.
Yes that makes sense about being my own lighthouse and not changing who I am. I do however think I need to cut the “friend zone” situation where he was having family dinners and playing games with me and the kids and joining in on family time and having me to ask about his day or offer a meal. I am too kind. I was purely being friendly while he waded in his own mess. I think now that there is definitely OW or Women , I feel I need to pull right back and cut the friend zone too. Otherwise I am just the third wheel. While he’s building relationships with someone else whether it me emotional or physical, I don’t think he should be entitled to have a friendship with me. I was only really ever interested in the friendship with him if it was going to be a two way street in helping rebuild our friendship and relationship together.
Does the is sound right?pull back even more. He’s chosen someone else so let him lose all aspects of me including my generosity my caring and kindness. I have been detached a lot the last few months but I think now I may need to just remove myself completely from him and the whole situation. He has chosen to invest his attention his desire his heart with someone else. So mine now needs to heal on its own away from him, removing myself from his equation he has created where he is fulfilling his emotional needs with OW and family needs with me. This may sound silly but I don’t even want to yell or scream at him I still want to be the kind person I am. The kids see us amicable and friendly I don’t want to disrupt them but I no longer desire his company his presence or anything to o with his current behaviour. I no longer want to have him at family dinner or playing games.i think you’re right this has really been a big help in letting go more and more
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
