Just her actions and the way she has been softening up lately. She has opened up more on talking and explaining things and realizing the mess he is causing. NOt saying she is changing it but I can see how it is affecting her more now.
Originally Posted by Boat14
This is standard WW script. Keeps you on the hook. In an essence she is saying "I am going to try out some other dudes. If I don't like them and you end up being a better option I will take you back". Does that sound appealing to you?
NOt at all. If there is any other guy in the picture then that is a deal breaker for me. I may or may not find out later if things do somehow work out. The more she is gone the more I pull back and heal. Its a process and I understand that and find myself going through that. There will be a time when I wont even want her back.
Originally Posted by Boat14
So you agree that D is the answer here?
Dont necessarily want a D but feels like its heading that way. NOthing is going to stop or slow it down at this point. I have pulled back. I laid it all out in the beginning. She knows how I feel. She has gotten softer around her shell at times but still moving forward. We will see how this plays out. Im at the point that if the D happens then it does now. No point in trying to convince her to stay. More working on myself and being that focus and what I can do to improve my happiness.
Originally Posted by Boat14
Yeah so that is when the "good times and in bad" part of the vows come into play. Not "until things get difficult".
Agreed. Hell Im at the point of accepting the D. And if we do start over somewhere down the line things will be in fact alot different. I dont think we would ever get married again. But who knows what life will bring. Just take it one day at a time. Go through the healing process. Focus on myself and what I cant control. The rest is out of my control. I meant my vows. I still wear my ring because of that. When the day comes we sign our papers I will leave that ring on the table along with my signature.
Originally Posted by Boat14
If she was attached to you and attracted to you she would not be leaving you.
I see your point here and agree. She tries to come on to me all the time still now and cries about things one minute and then the next she is moving along. She is a mess right now. Work life is falling apart on her as well. Sounds like her boss isnt happy that we are going through a D because we are all friends and took many couples vacations with them because they didnt like going with others at least what they told us! She is contemplating quitting her job and everything now. Just a mess she is in. BUt she is pretty strong minded and strong willed. So I can see her holding her own on things. Not because she wants to but because she feels like she has to in order to save face and prove to herself that she needs to.
Originally Posted by Boat14
Maybe but based on your expectations of D I think you may be in for a rude awakening.
Yea def not something Im holding my breath about. She can work on herself and I work on myself. Who knows what the future holds. We may or may not find what we had again. If not then so be it. I am moving along with the assumption that it wont happen.
Originally Posted by Boat14
This is the only important thing you discussed. Take 100% of the focus off of her and place it on yourself and your daughter.
Absolutely true here Boat! That has been my focus for sure. And getting this house packed up. Never realize how much you build and accumulate together until you have to go through it all and pack it. I think that helps in the detachment though for myself mentally and emotionally. Piece by piece this house/life we built comes down figuratively . And I wont build another. Selling all the things that made that happen and focusing more on what I want and what makes me happy at this point.
