In fact, I did laugh DNJ! W hasn't said anything about attending the visitation tonite nor the funeral tomorrow. She has made 1-2 comments "What time is X" and "You're going to the funeral on Y, right" to which I've cordially responded with as few words as possible.
The main reason I'd tell W about the attorney is so that any D papers go to the lawyer vs. directly to me. It is an emotional reaction for sure. I realize I'm the one that would have to decide if it feels embarrassing. I had been thinking "So what does it matter - the effect is the same" in terms of "officially" starting the process. So, I decided against doing anything other than picking the attorney and following whatever initial guidance they provided.
You hit the nail on the head. In general, I'm the solutions person. Family, friends, W, daughter, etc. often look to me to pick the restaurant, activities to do, and products to buy - so dialing that habit down takes some effort on my part. I appreciate the reminder to do so. You're right, I need to bathe in Limbo - there are plenty of things to do. Actually, I too have long embraced housework. It keeps me focused and less physical clutter feels calming (though I look around my office and, despite the chaos, this too is calming).
Off to the visitation which, though sad, also brings old friends together so there is some joy on the way too. Thank you again, DNJ, for the gentle raps on my synapses. They are helpful and appreciated.
