Second roller coaster ride (part 3)

[Sunflyer]

But you have to also own your side of the problems too, so my close friends do know more. I’ve admitted my wrongs, however I have also gone at great lengths to repair them and repair the marriage. I don’t start blaming H in conversation about everything he has done or doing wrong, not really helpful airing dirty laundry.

Yes. Looking back, I don't think my biggest mistake was not spending enough time with her, not recognizing a Valentine's Day, etc., although she cited all that and more as reasons for leaving.

I think the biggest mistake I made was not advocating enough for myself. Not making clear how I was being shortchanged in the marriage. I guess I didn't want to rock the boat or make it seem like I was holding her back.

Believe me, that's one thing that won't happen again.

But the fact is he left me, he didn’t want to work on our issues or his own personal issues, he is running away to the other side of the world. At the end of the day I hold my head high that I wanted to fight like crazy to save our marriage, that I tried everything I possibly could, that I didn’t run and I am still here for our kids

All marriages and even long term relationships have issues. We are humans not programmed robots. However I am still a strong believer that every marriage is repairable and fixable. Every marriage and partnership has the inner strength to dig deep work through differences and come out of the experience better and stronger than ever. It does require both parties wanting the same thing though, being on the same page.

I agree with your every word.

And yes, hold your head up. As you say, both have to be on the same page. You chose the path of building up; he chose the path of tearing down. That is on him to bear.