Nice to see you enjoying the days, and your time out in nature. Here, my walks among the trees and tall grass is crunchy with all the dry leaves underfoot. Not much sneaking up on anything.
We had a bit of a wind storm a day ago which removed near most of the what was the remaining leaves from the tress. Most open areas were likewise blown clear as well. My lawn was full of grass clippings and leaves in thick windrows, now all gone. Blown across the prairie until hitting some bushes or such. The last bastion of crunchy walking is only within the now naked trees’ umbrella.
Nighttime is gorgeous. Last night was so clear, and of course it’s dark now much earlier. So, returning from driving my Mom home after movie night, I sat outside and looked upon the stars. The milky way clearly glowed. Like a painted trail across the black sky. Various planets popped, being the brightest points of light in the sky. So many stars; almost too many to pick out the constellations.
Dark nights with skeleton trees silhouetted against pale star light is all very Halloween like.
Have you made any conscious purposeful decision/choice on how and when to respond/contact W?
You have (had?) her attention (see the following quotes). She’s a bit off balance, a good thing.
Originally Posted by Rockon
“ I am at a loss how to communicate with you. If we are at the no longer communicating stage that’s okay but it would be helpful if I knew that so I would stop trying. “
Originally Posted by Rockon
W said that my email was not friendly and like something you might send to a colleague that you don’t like.
Originally Posted by Rockon
She replied, “ I can’t communicate with you this way.”
What do you want her to see? What would you like to tell her? And I mean, your demonstrated behaviours not words.
Originally Posted by Rockon
W texted me this afternoon asked if I had plans and if I wanted to meet her for a drink. I texted back. “That sounds fun yes I have plans.”
Went to a hockey game with friends.
That’s a good start.
What’s better, or more meaningful/powerful is a demonstrated action.
So, better than telling W you have plans, is to have plans. And better than having plans, is to be living those plans.
Have you considered only weekly communication with W? Set her text tone to silent, and every Wednesday (whatever day, though mid work week would likely not have many conflicting plans) read her text/emails, then respond. Texts are non-urgent and can wait for a response.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Email was unproductive for what she wanted to discuss and when it was a good time for me we ended up having a call.
I utilized email during a 33 year career. It’s was very productive for a variety of topics. Email is, at times and for some topics, less efficient than a phone call; still, it can be productive. Granted, time sensitive matters are not conducive for emailing or texting; and for those I’d initiate a phone call.
If something is urgent or important enough, W can dial a phone just as well as you. Don’t fret that you might miss something if she texts.
Look, W is actually reaching out to you. Let her pursue you. She has to. She actually needs to for her own growth. She has to feel like you are doing other things. And you are! Let her feel the loss she orchestrated.
Like I said, don’t fret. If/when W wants to attempt a reconnection, she will come back hard. Right now, she’s testing the waters. Who do you want her to see? Rock1.0 or Rock2.0?
Of course, the real underlying question is, who do you want to be? It’s your life, who are you going to be?
Have a wonderful Sunday Rock.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
