I agree with Card. It is unlikely a salary boost (or your absence) will solve things for H.
I've had two counselors say (about my W) "I expect W will continue to unhappy and won't have you to blame" if she follows through with D and "It can be very difficult to get someone to look inwards at their contributions because of how destructive it can be to the self-image they are using to survive right now (essentially - their avoidance is so high, they just can't be honest with themselves about how much they've caused their own unhappiness)." Alien is a great way to describe it or perhaps a stranger because they no longer resemble the person we fell in love with in many cases. Imagine all you'll be able to do for yourself with the time you'll have free from these battles!
