Happy Belated Birthday, Sun. I agree with Boat: the main benefit of DB is for you. Either outcome, R or D, involves a better you than who you were before. You are correct that, if you somehow R, the boundaries I hope you have for yourself mean you will not accept the family unit the way it previously existed. You'd be lowering your standards. I've been asking myself a version of your question: why if at all would I want to R - how will that benefit/serve me? Sometimes it is hard to shake off our vows (good times and bad, sickness and health....you know the drill) because we take them seriously. I think I read that in one of your earlier posts related to taking care of your wife so hopefully it resonates a bit. If we really want what's best for them, and they're choosing to D, then it is a different way we are fulfilling those vows to the point that they've let us IMHO.
