Not Lost Anymore!Being the best version of ME!

[Pattnee5]

I must say I am so happy the way my parents bought me up and the amazing relationship they have had. I have seen them fight and make up, get angry, blow off steam but they always always had each others backs since they were 14.they have been through financial strain, cancer the absolute works ( nothing like what H or his family faced) and they know to dig deep together and pull through. I was always so open about feeling if I was upset angry etc and H just didn’t know how to deal or reciprocate as he hasn’t been giving those tools as a child. It’s either run or bottle stuff up. I never saw the bigger picture until now.

H had a bit of a moment this evening. Had been drinking so of course. I had two glasses of wine as we played a game with our S 12 but he was quite a few ahead of me.
When S wasn’t around he started to tell me about his new overseas job and how he’s been told his new salary and “ it’s so much more and will pay for a lot of things”
I just reciprocated with “that’s nice i am glad that makes you happy” h gave me a strange look.
Later he starts asking when he should tell the kids about his move and I just responded “ that’s up to you that’s your decision” by now a few more drinks happened so he was a bit angry.
He said something along the lines of “ don’t stop me doing this” in which case I said “ I am not stopping him whatsoever this is his life his decision and if I stop you, you will hold it over me”
He said something about how he thinks D14 will be exited for him and want to go with him ( he’s delusional, ) and thinks S 12 will be upset. Again I didn’t say much to this I think this is when he baited me and I felt a bit [censored] I took it because I knew he was loaded up on his booze by now. He did throw in “ you never know if I hate it I’ll just pack up and come home” ( what home you silly alien you blew it up) He said something about bow I should be happy for him and how I had always said to him I would always support his dreams. This is where I may have said too much I responded with “ they were our dreams to do something like this together once the kids grew up and didn’t rely on us as much.”
Typical H fashion, packed his stuff, moody leaves.
What a silly silly man.
Anyway. Handled it good. Feel nothing really. Had a great night playing games and even enjoyed H company earlier on when he wasn’t drinking and I was just trying to treat him like a friend. But of course that doesn’t last. I feel fine though.
Will get up tomorrow and have another long run. Going to enjoy the sun, walk the dog and immerse myself in the things in life that make me smile. Right now I realise H no longer makes me smile. He may think his move is all shiny and exciting. Maybe it is? Maybe moving away and being in a new country is exciting for him and his soul.
Who knows
Safe to say he’s still the alien husband