Hi Rock - I've been re-reading DB and DR, as well as some of the early posts MWD herself responded to. I wonder, can you recall any times when the two of you did communicate well? If so, why do you think it went well? Can you replicate that success? There is a great post where MWD says the trick isn't so much to detach, go dark, and other strategies specifically so much as to 1) know what doesn't work and 2) experiment by doing something different. Lots of the same principles apply (keep it brief, positive, not pursuing, and so forth). I agree with Boat that, at some point, you may over-use empathy or validation and not move on to finding solutions in terms of healthy or productive communications (from your perspective, for your well-being, and your overall good). It is tough. How WOULD you like communication to work between you?
