This is the paradox of the DB process: on one hand, you're trying to DB to save a marriage while simultaneously preparing yourself to successfully navigate a D. I need to think more about what is best for me here overall.
I don't see it as a paradox. Preparing yourself to successfully navigate a D, especially in the case of a WAS, *is* the best way to try to save your M. Detaching, GAL, appearing to be happy to move on (by actually getting to the point of being happy to move on) is DB, and it's also the best way to navigate a D. The opposite is pursuing, begging, pleading and hanging onto the rope. It might feel like a paradox sometimes because our instincts tell us to pursue.
I DB'd my first D, and eventually it did actually work. xW asked to try again with me a year after our D, but at that point I made the decision to move on. While I chose to remain D'd, DB worked.
Just my 2 cents
Last edited by Card29; 10/19/2303:41 PM.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
