Hi Jessie - You are in the right place in terms of useful practices and support. Cadet's welcome email is especially great. As others noted, the discussions on boundaries, Sandi's rules, etc. are often helpful. This is my 2nd time around and the two themes that are most helpful have been: 1) giving the person lots of time and space and 2) getting a life and making yourself the most attractive you can be (for yourself). The time and space can help someone see that YOU actually aren't the root cause of their crisis. Absence can also make the heart grow fonder. Getting a life and working on you helps keep you busy at a minimum, helps you get some positive momentum going instead of feeling stuck, and gives you a valuable path to follow, whether your marriage works out or not. As other say, the only person you can control is yourself. We will be here to listen, offer support, and hopefully help you calmly and rationally navigate a difficult situation, while he is being driven by emotion, PTSD, and other things that often mean his behavior will be illogical. Take care.
