My Story (2)

[Sunflyer]

Not a good couple of days.

Yesterday was my birthday, and I can say that this was easily the worst I've ever had.

W told me she had a "busy" day but actually spent the afternoon with her AP. (Not speculation; eavesdropped on another phone conversation and that's where she was). Plus, the dead giveaway: she removed me from the tracking on her phone after about 11:00 A.M. I did the same, so we are now both in "divorce mode" as far as knowing each other's whereabouts.

Another overheard remark: "I wished him a happy birthday. I'm trying to be nice. I bought a small ice cream cake. I have to put on this show because it's his birthday."

She wanted to order from the pizza parlor and asked me what I wanted. Told her to order whatever she liked. Asked me if I wanted anything special. I wasn't really hungry.

I didn't play this very well. It was obvious to her I was out of it, but I didn't lose my temper or anything. She asked whether or not I felt well.

My son called from college and both sons and W sang to me later. I blew out the candles and ate a piece of cake but wanted to be somewhere else.

She left me a card on the kitchen table. (For latecomers to the story, the last card she gave me was on Father's Day, and that was a condolence card. It actually said "thinking of you at this difficult time" or something like that). I didn't bother opening or reading the new one. It's still on the kitchen table.

She texts me this morning and wants to "talk" this weekend. My guess is that she is going to fess up. I'd be shocked if she doesn't think I know. Cutting off the phone tracking is basically announcing it. She also says that she will have "plans" for the weekend of 10/28-10/29. Her next round of surgery is 10/31. Pretty easy to figure out what she will be doing that weekend since the surgery will put her out of commission for a while.

I have visions of her basically saying, "I have another man. We will be going away that weekend. You need to watch S14 while I cheat on you." Or she could just lie to me like she did yesterday.

So...how to respond. I can speak firmly but calmly and not show anger. If she confesses, I know how I'd like to respond. Not with anger or profanity but with disappointment. Probably no matter what I do, I won't be acting consistently with DB. Mainly I'd like to acquit myself well. I'm doing this for myself and the better man I am becoming. I felt I was beginning to detach but now I can't really see a future with her, or at least this version of her.