Good morning Card - I will go back and read more of your story. While your W has a primarily physical illness issue, mine is struggling with mental health, so I'd say we've got even more in common. Similarly, this is my 2nd time practicing DBing with W. Pre-pandemic, similar issues arose (seemed like the start of MLC perhaps) + menopause now too. Crisis is such an accurate word.
4-5 years ago, DBing worked and we pieced things together thanks to the pandemic. With W's mental health issues going untreated (not willing to put in the work, up her meds, etc) + MLC + menopause, it isn't surprising that the topic of D resurfaces. Having survived the first time (even though we R'd) I feel some of the strength you describe and am inspired by what you've shared. I know I'll be fine. My parents are divorced and I never wanted my daughter to experience that. As MWD says, kids will generally always wish their parents were back together, don't always end up better off as the divorcing spouse hopes, and are one of several good reasons to work to stay happy/together. W won't think of things this way so I avoid even trying.
I know I've got to work on me, GAL, and give her time + space. I do feel like I am doing pretty good overall at DBing. These posts and discussions benefit me a ton and I'm grateful for every one of them and you. Have a great day.
