H EW possibly DBing and I’m losing the battle

[Sunflyer]

I don’t want that anymore. When I was mowing today, I realise too that a lot of the pain is in the in between letting go absolutely and hanging on still. It’s woeful.

Of course. You cannot erase the history you have with someone so easily. The need to leave them to their devices, and the deep-rooted attachment you developed, are at odds with each other. That attachment will leave a mark on you, make no mistake, and pain will be the result when disruption occurs.

The first woman I had any kind of physical intimacy with would have been a complete disaster relationship wise if she had stayed in my life longer than she did, which was only a few months. I see that now although I was rather blind to it at the time. But there are things about those few months--nowhere near the decades I had with my W--that will stay with me just as long as the memories of my W will (that is, until I die).

Hold your head up. Your H has some major issues to work out. Despite this, you are taking the high road. Moving ahead with yourself and for yourself. You are a prize. Repeat it to yourself every time the pain tries to drag you down.