Not Lost Anymore!Being the best version of ME!

[Pattnee5]

Sunflyer- I don’t ever care much to hear for his “appreciation” etc when he has literally pulled the rug out from everyone of us and it’s about to get a whole lot worse once he leaves In terms of juggling life, while he gets to live a new carefree life in a new country and city, spending weekends however the wants, morning sleep ins, not a single errand or responsibility. Honestly when he says stuff like that to me now I barely listen. It’s almost like it bounces off because deep down I thin “asshat running away and leaving every single responsibility behind yet throwing Thankyou around “

Kind- thanks for the words. Safe to say I shall stick to Collingwood especially since getting D14 on board. I have gotten to the point where I don’t even acknowledge it anymore if he starts with his possibility of telling him. It’s been 6 weeks of excuses already, I think it would be a miracle the day he actually does something.
Yep every single time anything comes out of his mouth I think “ believe nothing “ . He def is in turmoil. He gets teary then shuts down and walks out, he keeps saying how he hopes the kids will be ok. He keeps trying to tell me about his day, his work, anything. I know he’s avoiding calls with his family. It’s funny because I think I am just getting so much stronger and happier, and he blew up his whole world for his own “happiness” because he “ wasn’t happy for a while” yet now he is so much worse. I don’t even care much for his messages etc these days. He’s always telling me to enjoy my night out or day whatever I have planned with friends. I don’t even know why he cares anyway. Months ago he was ghosting me on all accounts and now he is wanting to act like best friends as if we were happily married. The amount of times I roll my eyes these days haha. The drinking is pretty bad these days but at least it’s not around me. He keeps telling me he wants to stop and will stop ( mind you I don’t even bring it up he actually comes to me to tell me), and then lasts about a day or two. I don’t even say anything anymore, not about him wanting to stop or if he drinks. I don’t know if he’s seeking validation or encouragement or just someone to help him but I keep reminding myself he fired me and he needs to dig himself out of this mess. I have a feeling it’s going to get a whole lot worse

Thanks for the encouragement I am still working on stuff but I think I’m through the worst of it. The lunch running club 3 days a week is great, we are all inspiring eachother ( and I have been out as “coach”) seeing as I am the only runner of the group. I plan some sort of social thing every weekend now. No more sulking watching tv or crying. It’s amazing what getting out actually does to your mood.