Work

[Kind18]

All your phone call has done is give her zero motivation to get her act together. She now knows you’re firmly still in her back pocket, that your changes are to try and win her back, and that she’s free to continue what she’s been doing for well over a year now.

Your wife has moved out. Is presumably moving towards D. You need to start enacting the last resort technique.

Here are the rules of engagement:

You never reach out to her first. When she does, if she calls, let it go to voicemail. If she asks questions in the VM you can respond with texts. If she texts, only respond to direct questions. Even in your answers to direct questions you answer only the question, no pleasantries. As short as an answer as possible. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers.

This ⬆️ was September last year.

Rockon, please watch out for the old trap so many LBSs have fallen into: finding excuses to not adhere to good DBing strategies.

I'd challenge that this discussion was necessary.

That ⬆️ was also in September last year.

Found out today from W that she will be traveling to have a holiday next month with OM.

That message from you ⬆️ was around the time she was going away on holiday to bang OM.

I’m genuinely interested - what is your motivation for having any communication with this low-value woman?

A year on, you’re still afraid when she stamps her feet because you didn’t reply to her text.

You hold the key to your happiness, but you think she holds it. You are so co-dependent on this woman that nothing will ever change. You’re on a terrifying rollercoaster that you hate, but you simply refuse to climb off and walk away when it pulls into the station. You’ll go around again and again if it means you can get a glimpse of the old her.

I’m a strong believer that in your particular situation, your eureka moment does not lie in DBing techniques, or hobbies, or GAL, or exercise, or carefully crafted emails/messages/phone calls or even in reconciliation which is never going to happen for you.

It lies entirely in having an ounce of self respect.