Not even sure where to start

[Sunflyer]

Told her I am not even sure. That I am still attracted to her (probably shouldn't have done that). But she was leading me on during conversations about sex. Said she thinks about it but doesn't want me thinking that she is staying. Also she brought up still considering it after the D. So here's my question. I feel like if I'm right that this is a MLC that she needs to have some time for herself to take care of herself. So is there harm with continuing the sex? Besides the emotional attachment. Can that be detached and remain "friends with benefits" after the D? I mean it lay not be the best thing emotionally but if we are both doing our own thing and working on ourselves and giving space, and we are only sleeping with each other then is that a bad thing? I'm still attracted to her. And vise versa. Conversations have been good if we don't talk about R or M.

Told her I am not even sure. I think your response should have ended with this.

Think about it. Is a "friend with benefits" what you want to be to her, or do you want to be her #1 choice and lover all the time? Do you want the possibility of her turning to you for sex because she has no other alternative? Do you deserve better than that? And when another alternative becomes available to her, how do you know she won't just push you aside? Then, maybe, if her alternative doesn't work out, she'll consider you again. Isn't that rather abusive?

I get it, dl. I have similar feelings as you. My wife is a very beautiful woman. She's had portraits taken which could be published in a magazine, and she could pass for a model. We were lovers for 25 years. Making love to her provided some of the very best experiences of my life. But now she regards me with disdain, says she'd rather sleep on the floor than with me, and has turned to OM. She isn't the woman I loved and married. Like another poster here said about their spouse, it's like an alien has taken them over.

If the earth shifted on its axis and she came to bed and offered herself to me tomorrow, I admit I would be tempted. Because I am human. Because I know exactly what being with her is like and every great thing about it. I am sure you feel the same way about your W. But those thoughts of being treated like a backup should be like a cold shower. I am a very good man, striving to be a better man. I don't deserve this kind of treatment and I don't believe you do either. No one on this board really does.

My $0.02.