Not even sure where to start

[dleague]

So been thinking about this and updates here. Conversations have been good. She went out last night with friends (didn't know until she came and sat next to me at the kitchen table). But you get friends who cared more about bar hopping and she isn't about that. Just listened to her talk about it. Full attention on her. She is def more of someone who wants to relax at home as she said. So here's my dilema. How do I know where it went wrong and where I need to improve at with regards to the R? I am making changes for myself and have been more upbeat. Lots of research and help here has been great. Each day has been getting better. Counselor even mentioned it as well. Trying to remain focused on myself and getting myself right. But looking at trying to determine goals when it comes to the R. But trying to decide where it fell apart. From what I've gathered from her is it was just the last few years of things I have said to her and that I haven't worked that. She is still insistent on a D. She hasn't pushed it much though the last few days or even brought it up. We have had no conversations about the R right now. Just about life and what's going on there, kids, dogs, work, etc. But part of me feels like maybe she is going through a mid life crisis and wants to be single to have the freedom of not having to be responsible for someone else (besides her son). She told me today that when she came home last night she wanted to sneak up to my room. But decided not to because she doesn't want to give me the wrong impression or anything. Well later today we were talking while she was packing things in the basement. She asked me what I would do if she would have came up. Told her I am not even sure. That I am still attracted to her (probably shouldn't have done that). But she was leading me on during conversations about sex. Said she thinks about it but doesn't want me thinking that she is staying. Also she brought up still considering it after the D. So here's my question. I feel like if I'm right that this is a MLC that she needs to have some time for herself to take care of herself. So is there harm with continuing the sex? Besides the emotional attachment. Can that be detached and remain "friends with benefits" after the D? I mean it may not be the best thing emotionally but if we are both doing our own thing and working on ourselves and giving space, and we are only sleeping with each other then is that a bad thing? I'm still attracted to her. And vise versa. Conversations have been good if we don't talk about R or M.