I read your posts and truly feel for you. Four years ago my WW had a one night stand in a hotel and I discovered evidence on her tablet. She lied about it till I showed her the evidence and then insisted she was "separated" when she live with me and our children.
She told me "I've been told it's not cheating if you say you're separated."
It's up to you if you expose the affair or keep quietly doing detective work. Your wife is already out the door in a manner of speaking. Only a miracle can stop this.
If she has had a physical affair already, you may see personality changes. In my WW it was extreme as if something had taken over her. This is what is called "affair fog" - they will spend money recklessly and make foolish decisions. My ex wife later told me she didn't remember much of what happened during this time.
You have a * short * window of time while they are in the fog to get your financial affairs in order.
Every WW is different, but my WW was so flippant she didn't even make a budget for her living expenses after separation. They will agree to some rather bad terms because all they want to do is get out of the marriage and feed their affair addiction.
This does not mean that you hide financial resources or deliberately give her less. It means you keep as much as you can, that you worked for.
I did mediation with my wife and I filed for divorce immediately to protect myself, my house (I bought her out) and my kids (of which I have primary custody). Since she moved straight in with OM I did not have to pay alimony despite being married for well over 10 years. Child support was shared expenses and I kept all my retirement plans.
I wish you all the best.
Last edited by DnJ; 10/19/2302:32 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.
