This is why we regularly tell newcomers here that there is probably another person, even though the walkway/wayward (and often the LBS too) vehemently deny it.
This is what modern divorces are often about. Someone who gets bored/wants to cheat or leave, and then progressively gaslights you into thinking it’s your fault because you forgot one Valentine’s Day.
All those supposed relationship problems on your first post - they weren’t big issues. They were your soon to be ex wife refusing to take responsibility for her choices and grooming you into thinking your actions were entirely responsible for the failure of your marriage. It makes me sick, so many manipulative cheats who play victim and gaslight LBS.
You have two choices - ignore it completely and quietly keep DBing, or blow up her world.
Personally, I’d choose option 2.
Wait until she is going out for a day. Throw ALL her stuff on the sidewalk. Call the number from the phone bill and say “I know what’s going on with Mrs Sunflyer, she is all yours, I wish you the best of luck” and then hang up. Get the locks changed, change your FB status to single and make a post about cheating. Then message her “just spoke to xxxx. Seems like a great guy. Your stuff is on the sidewalk, the locks are changed and you need to live somewhere else. I’m not angry, I guess I’m just disappointed. Wishing you all the best, my lawyer will be in touch.”
I know the above is counter intuitive to traditional DBing, but traditional DBing doesn’t generally work when your spouse is a gaslighting NPD.
The all-in approach is more likely to be successful in these scenarios. She’ll either leave and never look back, or she’ll suddenly feel the weight of her decisions and wake up.
In situations with a gaslighting NPD, DBing slowly and quietly just gives them time to get their victim story straight and get comfortable with leaving.
