I don't know why I was concerned; she saw me busily running around and asked what I was doing so I said, "cleaning the back office to make it more amenable to work there". She said, "I can dig it." So she understands.
I'm still working with only what I've learned here on these forums (no book yet) but have been trying to be as calm and detached as possible yet kind in my demeanor. I have no interest in arguing, asking questions, making any threats, etc.
Right after the BD we were talking about how we loved each other and she did mention, "I know you will do anything to get me back".
Lest she think I'm going to sit around pouting and waiting, she will soon see I'm seriously taking steps to live the next phase of my life with or without her along.
Since we have adult kids we've always visited together, that dynamic will change of course, especially if either of us have new partners. I doubt she's thought about this, for what it's worth.
Of course I realize at some point she may wake up and decide "what was I thinking" so if it comes to that we'll talk. I need to research this phase in case it happens.
Sometimes I wonder what her family is going to say when they find out; they've always been big fans of how I've treated her as a husband and how I've fathered our kids.
