Haven't had much interaction with in laws the last couple of months. However, couldn't avoid seeing them Saturday since S17 is home from college and they wanted to see him. This included them staying at our house for several hours.
Sounded lika good opportunity for you to get out and GAL during that time. It helps take care of you and also provides your S an opportunity to spend time with W's family comfortably.
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
After BD, W was selling a narrative that "we will always be family" to my sister, which didn't sit well with her, leading to my sister cutting W out of her life and W's ongoing fury at her for doing so. Obviously, the events of Saturday are at odds with W's claim that "we will always be family."
This is typical confusing WAS spew. Don't give it an ounce of energy.
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
W has already mentioned Thanksgiving once. I've decided that I need to pull the plug on my involvement in any family gatherings where W's family are involved. This is how it is going to be going forward anyway. I don't need a piece of paper signed by a judge to know when a family unit is finished.
I don't think she anticipates my doing this. I've toyed with different ways of telling her, thinking that the best is just to say, "I won't be there." Knowing her, she will probably try to prompt for more and ask if this means Christmas, etc. also. I'm assuming that if she asks for a reason, I shouldn't give her one...just end the convo as quickly as possible.
I think it's a good time to ask yourself what YOU want for the holiday season. Is it in your home or at another family members? Where would your S like to be? If I were you - I would just take the lead here. Make a plan and communicate it early. If your wife gets upset - so be it. She doesn't get to "act like a family" part time (You do not say this to her of course).
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
They'll also be staying here for a week or so in early November after W has her next surgery. I'm guessing that my outlook for that is some prime GAL time and being at home as little as possible.
Good Idea!
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
W has informed me (via son's GF's mother) that she is a high-functioning autistic. Intellectually, she functions fine, but she is extremely quiet. Quiet as in, when she comes into the house I don't even know she is there half the time. Quiet as in, when she sees me, she looks right through me as if I am not there. She does not initiate greeting. I feel she is not comfortable with me. And I thought I was introverted. She is my level of quiet times two.
How about doing a little research or asking your S about her autism? Obviously every situation is different - but Autistic folks are usually quiet, can sometimes lack social skills. They like it quiet because they can get easily overstimulated by noise
Try not to take it personal. Just sit in silence with her if she doesn't want to talk. Keep if soft if she does. It's only been a few months. These things take time.
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
W and MIL resent that I don't have a relationship with her. I want to remedy this mainly for my son's sake rather than theirs, since I value my relationship with him most highly.
Who gives a rats @ss what they think! Focus on your S and what he thinks of the situation.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
