My Story (2)

[Sunflyer]

Subject: Holiday Forecast

Looking for some input here.

Haven't had much interaction with in laws the last couple of months. However, couldn't avoid seeing them Saturday since S17 is home from college and they wanted to see him. This included
them staying at our house for several hours.

Relations between myself and them have clearly gotten worse, despite the fact that I haven't been around them. FIL, who was cordial shortly after BD, has become more remote. Other than a reluctant greeting and farewell, he wouldn't even respond to a simple "Thank you" save for calling me by my nickname and staring off into the distance. W and MIL traded snide remarks about me when I was out of the room and assumed I couldn't hear them. I might as well have been paint on the wall.

None of this is having a positive effect on my mental health.

After BD, W was selling a narrative that "we will always be family" to my sister, which didn't sit well with her, leading to my sister cutting W out of her life and W's ongoing fury at her for doing so. Obviously, the events of Saturday are at odds with W's claim that "we will always be family."

W has already mentioned Thanksgiving once. I've decided that I need to pull the plug on my involvement in any family gatherings where W's family are involved. This is how it is going to be going forward anyway. I don't need a piece of paper signed by a judge to know when a family unit is finished.

I don't think she anticipates my doing this. I've toyed with different ways of telling her, thinking that the best is just to say, "I won't be there." Knowing her, she will probably try to prompt for more and ask if this means Christmas, etc. also. I'm assuming that if she asks for a reason, I shouldn't give her one...just end the convo as quickly as possible.

They'll also be staying here for a week or so in early November after W has her next surgery. I'm guessing that my outlook for that is some prime GAL time and being at home as little as possible.