I feel like the crisis may have started when he lost his job making really good money without a college degree, then got another one making the same kind of money and lost it 4 months later for the same reason he lost the 1st one. When he lost the job the 1st time, I was upset but I was like ok put your big girl britches on and do what u need to do. When he lost the job the 2nd time, I was angry and resentful, i was working 3 jobs and he was depressed. I didnt take into consideration how he felt or that it hurt him when he lost the job the 2nd time, i was just mad. I didn't feel like he was doing enough to help support us after that and we had to move out of a house that we all tremendously loved. I feel like at that point I had also started my own menopause, I didn't want him breathing the same air as me, touching me or even looking at me. He would say u look at me and I can see the hate in your eyes, I didnt hate him and I hate that I made him feel like I hated him, cause going through that now feeling like he hates me hurts. All of that happened after 2 surgical procedures one on his back at the end of 2018 and a hernia surgery at the beginning of 2019. Then of course 2020 and the pandemic happened.
