Second roller coaster ride (part 3)

[Card29]

Shew I was mad last night! Thankfully, shortly after my post, I was able to relax and fall asleep. I put on a podcast that has zero connection to W or our history. It immediately got my mind off things. I think I fell asleep within 5 minutes. I let myself sleep in a bit so I could get an extra hour. I feel somewhat better this morning. I'll be at the gym going hard at lunch time (3 hours away), so I expect to feel even better after that.

In addition to identifying the two main triggers of anger lately (W taking small things from the house, doom scrolling social media), I also have been aware that my worst moods have been at the end of weekends. I think this is due to filling all of my time with fun activities with friends and kids, and then all of the negative emotions hitting me at once when the weekend is over and I'm alone with my thoughts. Yesterday was the perfect cocktail (end of weekend, W with a big move out day and a long social media session late at nigh) with the added garnish of MIL being there.

W should be out of the house before this coming weekend. The main thing I need to work on is a new nighttime routine. Preferably reading a book. I also need to make sure I get some intense exercise on Sundays. I've been working out more since BD, but I've still just been chilling on Sundays. I got some things done around the house and yard, but it wasn't physically intense. So that will be on the docket for next Sunday.

Can you punch it out for a while? A pillow helps 😂😉.

I'm writing this down in case I'm in a bad spot late at night again. I couldn't think of any options for 1 am.

So back to the anger and the honey jar. I think it’s all part of the “dropping the rope” and “detaching”. Soon you won’t care and it won’t anger you like it does now. I read a great great article about a month ago by “hearts blessings”. I think someone had posted something on these boards of hers and then I googled her name and this whole page of amazing articles came up. She wrote an amazing one on emotional detaching and dropping the rope.

I will have to check it out. I do agree it's part of dropping the rope. And I feel detached when she's not rummaging through our/my stuff, emptying cupboards, etc.

I would also just be present when she’s there to take the last of her things, change the locks, spruce up your new space and start to own Cards new domain.

I think having her out and changing the locks is going to give me more peace and let me really move on with our space. I have plans for the living room, basement and D11's room (she is picking out a new color scheme, etc.). I bought some new fall decorations (happy Spring to everyone in AU) that the kids really like.