Way Less Lost!! Pt 4

[Sunflyer]

My W came from the closest family I've ever witnessed. A big group of Italians and love each other to death. There are issues like any other family, but absolutely none of them have just thrown away their family without a great reason, until W. So they are all flabbergasted. But her mom's side is where the issues arise, I'm learning. They sweep problems under the rug. They don't talk about real issues. They pretend everything is okay. Until it's no longer okay. W was by far the closest to her mom (oldest sibling, essentially cared for her mom and siblings when her mom was drunk, as young as 10 years old).

Not to hijack Pattnee's thread but holy Batman, Card, this is my situation to a T. I married into an Italian family, and you could be describing them right here. My family was not close like they are, but they do indeed sweep things under the rug while continuing to preach the value of family. My W followed the script exactly but when push came to shove, she was the one to give up on our marriage.

Her parents recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. I always envied couples like that until I stopped and realized how long your marriage lasts doesn't necessarily reflect that you have some secret marriage sauce. I have seen the cracks in my in-laws' marriage; they are certainly there. Heck, my parents were married that long but ever since I knew them, they basically couldn't stand each other.

My W is also very close to her mother, and I've always thought that she was a lot like her mother. Which is not necessarily a bad thing because I thought her mother had some very good qualities. But as her mother has aged, I've seen the negatives creep in: the stubbornness, cattiness, air of superiority that she has. I wonder if W will go down the same road. I do know that my FIL used to smile around his wife a lot more than he does nowadays. One of his trademarks was that he would break into a big grin and shout, "Heyyyyyyyyyy, baby!!!!!!!" to her. That kind of exuberance is long gone.