Second roller coaster ride (part 3)

[Card29]

Pattnee, yes I'm definitely thinking of her more especially these last few days. The first couple of weeks: Constant W thoughts, so constant dreams. Then I went 2-3 weeks with my mind mostly elsewhere. These dreams have started as the anger has popped up.

My IC session was good yesterday. She had some advice similar to, I think, what DnJ told me about some depression feelings I had a few weeks ago when W showed up with a box truck and a strange guy to help her. In that case, I did a couple of things (nature walk, hung out with neighbors) and my mood flipped. DnJ made note of those steps and said "this is your playbook".

For the anger, she asked some questions I didn't know the answer to off the top of my head:

- Where does it normally happen? At home
- What triggers it? I think when I find out about another item that she took with her. Ex: the good veggie peeler.
- How long does it last? I didn't know. Maybe an hour?
- How do you feel afterward? Depressed for a while
- How does it go away, or what do you do that stops it? I didn't know

Part of my homework is to pay closer attention when I do get mad. How long does it last? What do I do to curb the anger and change my mood? Make note of those things and it's a new page in my playbook.

She also suggested giving a deadline to W for finalizing her move. She still has several large items she needs. The idea is to stop these surprise car trips to grab more stuff. There's only been one item I didn't want her to take, and I texted her, she brought it back. This will hopefully remove this trigger and let me and the kids develop the space of our own. I texted W this morning about a date.

Me: When are you getting the rest of your things? I want to set a date for that soon
W: Hoping to have everything out a week from Friday
Me: How firm are you with that date? And it includes the painted armoire and everything in the garage? (Note: I have never liked the painted armoire and I don't want to store it for her)
W: I can't take the painted armoire now. I don't have room for it. I will take everything from the garage. Card, I don't know how firm I am with that date. I am moving things on my own with my car. Also, now that I've got S1 for the rest of the week, I won't be able to make trips back and forth with things. I am doing my best.

I haven't responded yet. I won't be offering solutions.

My proposed response: "I have a plan to rearrange the living room. Let me know of a date you can get the armoire." Not firm enough? Possible solutions are to find a friend that is willing to store it for her, have her mom come get it from out of town, or get a storage unit. But I'm not going to suggest any of that to her. I'm sure she can figure those out, but leaving it with me until she's ready to have it in the future is the easiest solution for her.

Also, regarding "not being able to make trips with S1". Yes she could. But also, she gets out of work at 2:20 and S1 doesn't have to be picked up until 5:00.