Bike

[JosephS]

I'm just going to be blunt, but please don't take it as I'm trying to run you down. I'm trying to wake you up, because you've been a sleep at the wheel here for a while so to speak.

Fear...nothing controls like fear. You are afraid of facing reality Rock. The reality of the situation is your marriage is over whether you like it or not. It's been over, for I'd imagine years in her mind, but I'm not sure you've accepted that. You need to, like yesterday. That doesn't mean you need to get divorced and remarried, but it does mean there needs to be a 2nd version of your marriage, a marriage 2.0. Over the last 15 months what have you done to make her think maybe you're different? More attractive? More of the man she would want? To want to marry you all over again?

I haven't updated my story much, but I'm going to tell you my story. Won't be detailed, and it will be from my perspective now...3 and a half years later.

I was a lot younger when I met my ex, and we basically grew up together, not from like kid kids, but high school. I was 36 when she left. 3 affairs in, 5 kids, and yet in a 24hr period (sad as heck having to write that, I wanna go back and smack my younger self) , it went from something is off in my world to it went full supernova. I was alone the first time as a man, with kids that their mother just walked out on....I know fear Rock..very well, fear for me was an unwelcomed house guest. Fear for you has become beacon of hope. I do get it, I couldn't picture myself with anyone else, I wasn't attracted to anyone else, I didn't want anyone else touching me. No, I was good. It took a few months, but even though it killed me inside, I knew there had to be a future where I didn't feel this way anymore. I did find out there was some things going on with her and the kids that forced my hand as a father, so I did know fairly early there was no going back, thus a few months, but here is where I am.

I've been married for a little over a year. My littlest just knocked on my office door screaming daddy, I only work 40 years a week (45 if I absolutely have too). If I am going somewhere my wife is always invited. As am I with her. Not because we have too, but because we want too. We have TV series we both love and have shared with each other and movies we watched before we met. She's my best friend, honestly the best I've ever had. We've been together longer than I think I admitted to in here. I know I hid it because I didn't want to hear it. I'm sure people will read this and understand, but I now can see it as a grown man hiding from a bunch of strangers on the internet.

DB worked for me on both accounts. It saved me from myself and my nonsense (I was not blameless, I didn't cheat but I didn't try like I could have, not even close) So when she did want to return, I knew I was worth far more than she ever thought I would be.

I love my wife, I love my life, I live everyday like it's my last. I say this because I am far happier, self aware, and centered as a person, father, and man than I ever have been. And 3 and a half years ago I was shattered, completely..... as a person, father, and man. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and light at the end of any tunnel you choose to go down, but you have to pick one.

Lastly, get ready. Money brings out the worst in people. Accept you need a lawyer now. You can not worry about her. You worry about you and your children that need you. I'm not saying lose your morals, but don't accept less than what you are entitled too. Let your lawyer handle the divorce, ask them questions, and let them know exactly what you want. EDit***I'm not saying you have to file for divorce, but don't be surprised if this triggers her to do so, but either way you need a lawyer, and one that knows everything that is going on and is ready to take action immediately with all the relevant information***