Sent W the email with my breakdown and proposal that we split 50:50 matrimonial home costs minus rental income (also split 50:50). And I requested child support and specified the amount I would be entitled to. I did not request alimony at this time.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Ok W has emailed back saying “… we need to come up with a fair amount of rent for you to pay so that I also have the opportunity to live in a place that I choose. You are choosing to live there with the costs that a house that size incurs…. I am unable to subsidize the mortgage as well as give money for son. My preference would be to give money for our son….. All of these agreements need to be legalized and have expiry dates.”
A fair rent amount has nothing to do with where she wants to live. A fair rent amount is based upon condition of the house and the market it is within.
She said she will not pay both half of mortgage and child support. Never even got to alimony discussion and she’s backing away financially.
I hope you do see how she is placing your son’s care and the mortgage at odds with each other. And then manipulating you into choosing which for her to graciously pay. Preference being son, is specific and designed to pull your heartstrings and well up feelings of guilt.
Originally Posted by Rockon
She makes first child support payment tomorrow.
Did she make it? Or did she have a change of heart?
It sounds like she is looking to legalize the arrangements. And her push of expiry date is just that - pushing you. Let that date pass by, and do not sign anything without seeing your lawyer.
Originally Posted by Rockon
I will seek further legal advice and at this time I read willingness from her to contribute towards S’s support which is good - not so much on the house.
I am thinking about taking care of the house on my own if necessary and preparing to buy her out when I can. And asking what amount she is able to contribute to S’s support.
Depending on the equity/asset ratio of the home, you may consider negotiating that her signing over the house releases her from alimony.
My advice, do not sent that email. It’s more of the same. You basically said the same thing to her just yesterday.
Let your lawyer look over your’s and her finances and situation. Liabilities and assets. Let your lawyer draft up the fair agreement. If the agreement is ok with you, then let the lawyer forward it.
I think you are about to dig a financial/legal hole you may have difficultly in extracting yourself from. When found in such a position the wisest thing to first do - put down the shovel.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
