I want to second what Pattnee5 says about making the right decision and being sad NOT being mutually exclusive. We can be really torn about wanting to save the marriage, spare kids the D, feeling like we've failed when and feeling stuck ourselves, unable to move on, and punching a wall. Even if you've done the DBing you could and the spouse isn't responsive, hopefully, you've gotten back your confidence, dignity, and health. Maintain your boundaries, don't let feelings drive your decisions (as another poster once said, there are plenty of people in prison who followed their feelings), and know you're doing all that is within your control.
